This is Mitch and Kai during one of those bleak desert drives when truth just gets liberated. We removed the names of real people to protect relations, which may seem lame, but stirring up trouble is lame too. Instead we replaced those names with members of the Wu Tang Clan, which was the least lame thing we could think of.
Kai: Yeah but it's always like that.
Mitch: I did like five backhand snaps as hard as I could do — as good as I could surf the Lane without doing finner reverses or whatever. I surfed as good as I could surf. I was pulling off waves and they were giving me 5.8s. Ghostface Killah did like the first air of his life, he raced for like a hundred meters and did an air this fucking big, a no-grab straight wheelie RZA air and they gave him a 5.8.
Kai: So all you have to do is an air reverse?
Mitch: Yeah I know, but it’s like, I can’t just do an air reverse every time.
Kai: But you could probably do a really average air reverse and that’s like a sick air.
Mitch: I don’t like trying that. And it’s almost like they know that they’re crueling me because they know what I can do and I’m not doing it, and I’m just trying to get through heats and get back to the basics! I mean look at Raekwon the Chef, he doesn’t do an air reverse every time and he fucking wins CTs. So I’m trying to tone it down and when I need to I’ll try to bust something out. You can get through with two 6.5s. You don’t get through with two 9s every time.
Kai: How bad does it sound? HEATS? Sooooo bad!
Mitch: It’s so strategic. And at the end of the heat I ended up giving Ghostface a wave and he got the score, which is retarded anyway. But he shoulda needed such a bigger score. I said to him, I said, “What the fuck have I gotta do, man? Judges obviously hate me or something.” You know what he said? “You’re not linking your turns together. You’re not doing enough between your turns.” And I was like, “What does that even mean, I’m not linking my turns together?" Linking your turns together is linking your turns together!
Kai: Where we going?
Mitch: Let’s just go to the pub. See ya at the pub ya fuckheads.
